Nov 15th 2008

Big bags, lumpy sacks...
Long walks, longer talks
Giant bunch of rags, a few justified fags
Churning of clothes, anticipation floats
Meeting strangers, sharing a smile
Seriously, it's been a while.....
Leaning against the wall, watching the rain fall
Again, the churning and then some more
Mind is rested, Patience tested...
And then, it stops...

O.K…This was my second time at the Report studio (I went for the regular taping two months ago), but as this was a special screening episode, the six month rule didn’t apply…
Anyways, in the confirmation email they asked us to come at 7-7:30. But of course me and my friend arrived at the studios at 4:30 (hell yeah!). There were people waiting to go in for the general taping and so, we stood outside. Mark came and when we told him we were there for the Christmas screening, he said that we were too early for that…So, we went for a coffee and came back thirty minutes later, only to find the line for the general taping had gotten longer…
Then, Stephen’s driver/security guard (the one who appeared in Rain’s episode) came and started chatting with us. One of the staff members who was taking people’s names also came and we were chatting bout the standby line. They both were betting as to how many standby people will actually get it and it was really funny to hear them argue…
They actually let five standby people in and the staff member won the bet!
O.K, cut to the main part- We were first in the Christmas screening line and went in like an hour and half later. There as usual we were told to shout, clap and laugh as hard as we could…we went in pretty much immediately and we sat in the front fucking row!!! I was SO excited, it’s not even funny…Earlier when I was in his studio, I had a standby ticket and I was standing in the back in a corner…but this time I could actually see his whole studio clearly…
After probably fifteen minutes, Mark came back and practiced our group laughter and group cheering.
Then he asked us whether we had any questions regarding the show…And I asked him “how do we get a job as a writer for this show?” and he laughed and said “You can actually ask Stephen that and he might as well give you the job, coz you seem to be funny” (I don’t know whether he meant that as a sarcastic remark or not…but it was pretty funny) I also asked him about the Jane Fonda episode (I know this question has been asked before like a million times but I just love to see him answer that with equal passion and excitement).
We did pretty well and the he announced- “Are you ready to meet the greatest living American ?” and to everyone’s screaming, clapping and cheering, Stephen came out running…Because this was post-taping the regular show, he was out of his suit and tie and was wearing jeans and his favorite Penn t-shirt…he as usual ran around his desk and came running to the audience. Considering I was in the front row, I actually *touched8 his hand…wow…I was the only one literally jumping…
Then he said whether we had any questions for him and I raised my shaking hand. He looked at me and said “yes…” and I asked him exactly the question that I asked Mark- “How do e get a job as a writer of this show” and he laughed and said “You have to be funny…are you funny”? Then I said “well, I took a seventeen hour long flight to come here from India” and he looked amazed and said “Sev….ohh..well..WELCOME!”…hahah….his reaction was priceless…Then he actually answered my question seriously and said “You can hire an agent and ask him/her to contact our studios”…
Then someone asked him about the Strangers with Candy reunion and he said he didn’t have any problem unless Amy and Paul were available…
Anyways, then he briefed us about the upcoming Christmas screening and asked us to laugh at the jokes if we found them funny. He said “If you find something funny, laugh out LOUD and if you don’t find it funny, laugh out loud anyways”…
Then the screening began and trust me Nation, IT’S AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!! My stomach still hurts…Then he went backstage and appeared after every ACT of the screening and talked some funny senseless things like, during first break he came out and said “ohh, now for a while let me encourage you to buy Axe body spray”…LOL
I’m sorry but I can’t disclose anything about the actual screening as we signed the agreement.
So, we came out and waited…there were three other people who were standing out as well…One of the girl had her B’day…Then after a while, all his security guards started speaking into their phones and we knew something was coming…and yes…To everyone’s excitement, Stephen came out shouting “wooohooo”….and we all too started shouting and clapping again! (it’s unbelievable to see how much energy he has, that too after two tapings!)…I asked him “Can I take a picture?” and he said ‘Picture? Ohh sure…” and so, immediately he put his hand around my shoulder and I put mine around his waist (coz I’m so damn short) and my friend took our picture…Then the B’day girl too took a pic with him and he wished her a Happy B’day, which was really sweet…Then he said ‘Thanks for coming guys and have a good night…” and he sat in his car (at the driver’s seat!)…we kept staring at him for a few more minutes and then unwillingly decided to leave…
Below is my pic, which looks like he’s grabbing my neck but who cares!!! And as usual I look so ridiculously happy, it’s not even funny…!
I apologize for such a lengthy report guys…

So…the moment I’ve always been waiting for since I started watching the show two years ago finally arrived…I have read several taping reports and all start with he/she (mostly she) getting there at the studio…But I guess mine technically starts when I took a 17 hour long flight from India to NYC…!
Since then, I’ve been dying to go to the taping…finally the day arrived…I went there at 1:30, as I didn’t have tickets…I was obviously the first one to arrive so damn early…but soon a fellow fanatic came and we chatted for a while..Anyways, cut to: 5’O clock, when we actually got tickets in our hands and we were SLOWLY led inside the waiting area…Mark came in and gave some T-shirts and also answered many questions…he talked bout the Jane Fonda episode, Richard Branson episode and some other stuff which we all already know, like the story behind the outline drawing of Stephen on the studio floor and the history behind bill O’Reily’s microwave…
Then he told us to clap loudly, shout on top of our voice, etc…I was so fucking excited I wasn’t even paying much attention. Then, we were soon led into the actual studio, which is just as cool as it looks on T.V…Then Pete came in and did his thing…it was really funny. He asked us if anyone was from different country and I quickly stood up and shouted India! And Pete was kinda taken aback…hehe, but he said he liked the fact that I actually stood up and that I should stand up while asking Stephen a question.
Then, the moment arrived…Spot lights flashed everywhere…And there came our Hero…running, shouting, Hi-fying the audience and all…Man, the energy he has is truly unmatchable…He asked if anyone of us had questions and a girl asked him to sing ‘o Susana’…and he DID…and WOW, we all went “awww”, and he’s like…”the following Report is sponsored by awww”…then, he talked about getting old or something…he said his son John asked him the other day whether the lines next to his eyes were actually gills…and we all went awww again….very funny
Then the taping began and it was hilarious….the moment when he stood up and started taking off his jacket, we were literally squealing…and then he unzipped his pants…God, it was sooo funny to watch…During the break, the make-up artist came and fixed his hair and he did the same to her hair…hahah…he’s so over dramatic , which is too cute…he kept lip syncing all the songs they play during the break…
The taping ended sooner than I expected, and he told us what a great audienc ewe were and that he wished we could come back tomorrow again…
we came out pretty quickly…everyone departed soon enough, but I loitered there for a while…
Then, The Report writers came in and I congratulated them on their Emmy…they were too sweet…they asked me if I enjoyed the show and I said ‘My throat hurts from shouting’ and he said that’s a good thing then…we talked for while about India and stuff and then they went too…
I was literally the only one left there…One of Stephen’s security men was there and I asked him when Stephen will come out and he said he didn’t know anything…I kept questioning him, but he just didn’t tell me anything…But I told him “m gonna wait there, since I came like…10,000 miles across from a different continent, ‘m not going without meeting him…He said it will probably take a long time, but I insisted on waiting and ALAS!!!
There, right in front of my eyes is…STEPHEN COLBERT! He came and smiled at me..I said I came all the way from India to watch his show and he was extremely polite and asked me how I was, etc…he asked me whether I liked the show and I said I did…a LOT!
I asked him whether I can take a picture with him and he said Sure…So, I shakily opened the camera and I asked the security guy to take our pic…But Stephen said, “Wait…I’ll take it” and he held me by my shoulder and took a picture of both of us…For the first two times it didn’t work and so we just kept standing there in the same position…then, it finally worked and he actually saw the pic and said “ohh that’s a a sweet picture..” Then I said Thanks and he’s like…”Take care” and goes near his car and I shouted behind him “Oh by the way, congratulations on winning an Emmy”! and he’s like..Thanks..! haa..it was brilliant…
He got into his car and drove off….
And I got into a taxi, grinning madly like a fool…and why wouldn’t I? I just had the most memorable day of my life…!!!
Did I mention I took a 17 hr long flight to get here…?

The Elephant, the tiger and the cell phone'...

I recently saw Shashi Tharoor's interview on 'The Colbert Report' (probably the only one in India who's a Colbert fan)...and I must say, I was thoroughly impressed by the interview..For we, the Indians who are usually ridiculed for being the land of tigers and elephants, it was a relief to watch a globally recognized Indian sitting in front of someone who portrays himself as the ultimate American patriot (and would go to any extent to prove it) and discussing India in a brighter light...For five to six minutes that night, we all witnessed, not only the obvious respect Mr.Tharoor commanded over Stephen, but words like Amitabh Bachan, Shahrukh Khan and Brahmins being spoken by a devout American (surprisingly by maintaining the individual value of each of those words)...
We have earlier seen globally recognized Indians like Aishwarya Rai on Oprah who evidently received questions on Indian marriage system and how absurd it is and about Indians not kissing in movies and the way Americans found that ludicrous and similar idiotic questions...But, yesterday night, when I saw his interview and saw him not even giving Stephen a mere chance to look down upon him and Indian people in the entirety, even while talking about the existent caste systems and so on, was a complete relief. I'm glad that he is one of the pioneers in making a global Indian not different from the citizens of developed countries when it comes to individual intelligence and making a mark on a global scale.
Thank You again Mr. Tharoor for not giving in to the international media (or what Stephen would call, a chance to "nail" you)...It was truly an interesting interview and I would love you to return to his show with your next book..

Entertainment?? Or Desperation in the name of Entertainment??

I know I'd be the only person in my country (definitely one of the very very few) who's a fan of some of the American late night talk shows. Nevertheless, I just couldn't resist myself from posting this after what happened on Feb. 4th night on late night television in U.S. The mock "feud " between Stephen Colbert, Jon Stewart and Conan O'Brien elevated a level higher with wits and strengths traveling over three shows and two networks.
A lot has been written about the "brawl" already with the media going berserk over the fake (all the more funniest) feud you'd ever see on t.v. Although the three hosts involved didn't have any moral character or a face to save, the partly choreographed, partly improvised "fight" proved to be an audible sigh of relief. With their writers on strike for more than 100 days now, the shows needed the well deserved viewership that seemed to be faltering slightly in their scriptless shows (although, personally I believe that Colbert has so far done a kick-ass job of a host devoid of writers).
The comic tussle that sprouted from Colbert's objection to O'Brien's claims that he "made" the presidential candidate Mike Huckabee, over weeks grew into something unexpected, though well accepted by the audience. Over the span of two weeks, the scuffle only got widened and extremely personal, digressing from the actual claim of "who made Huckabee" into "who made each other".
After making cameos on Daily Show and Colbert Report, the three comedians then decided to settle the dispute once and for all on The Late Night. All three of them showcased what Jon Stewart called "the stupidest thing anyone has ever done on television". None of them is an actor, but with great support of base ball bats, bricks, an over-sized trash can, ice skates and of course body doubles, those few minutes proved to be the most entertaining minutes in the history of post-strike television.
The shows that usually revolve around political satire, mainly American politics, that night seemed to give up the race for who comes up with the best take on latest election polls, and instead seemed to highlight the much needed desire for a few senseless laughs and the hosts' hidden desperation for bringing their writers back. It's highly amusing for those who've been following this "feud" for weeks, but nevertheless extremely entertaining for everyone else.
Check out the videos on Youtube.

When Harry Potter Took His Final Bow...

The time has come-to face the reality. Last night the ultimate chapter of Deathly Hallows reluctantly turned it’s final page and I bid my Goodbye to Harry Potter forever. The final confrontation between The-Boy-Who-Lived and He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is over. The choice has been made between what’s good and what’s right. Well, talking about the book, J.K. Rowling’s monumental, spellbinding epic, 10 years in the making, I must say it’s concluded extraordinarily with stalking revelation and precision.
The first time I took the book in my trembling hands, I could feel an unusual combination of excitement and regret. I’ve been waiting for this moment for so long. It has been around eight years ago when I finished the first book that I’ve been dying to read this particular one. And yet when I looked at it, felt it in real, I almost did not want to read it. I did not want the experience to be over for me.
Nevertheless I apparently did open the book and felt a surge of nostalgia when I saw the familiar looking page of the first chapter with even more familiar characters. Once I commenced reading and fastened my eyes to the book, I almost felt like someone had cast a spell on me. I literally couldn’t control from burying myself into it and got up for breakfast only after my mom’s diatribe. I stopped reading a few times, compelling myself to go more slowly just to savor the most awaited experience. But before I knew I was hidden in the book again and looked up only after turning the 759th page.
The whole plot is more than just a coming-of-age tale about some orphaned boy. The entire series has been quite phenomenal and I can undoubtedly say without exposing anything about Hallows that this is the most enthralling one. J.K Rowling moves quite effortlessly between Ron’s adolescent jokes and Harry’s blatant severity.
It’s about time that you realize that Harry is no longer a mere dark-haired, bemused little boy with a scar on his forehead. In this book, he faces what most grown-ups won’t even dream of confronting. Some people still think of Harry Potter as sheer children’s reading. But if you go through the pages of Deathly Hallows, expecting flying cars, revolving staircases, lip-smacking goodies and floating ghosts then you are in a position of getting a rude shock. (Read the opening chapter if you don’t believe me). This book being the most hair-raising of them all, I read most of the chapters either with my heart in my throat or sitting bolt upright on the edge of my seat. There were some scenes in the earlier books that took you on an emotional turmoil. In this book, such incidents seem to come in every alternate chapter. From his very first day at Hogwarts, when he was burdened with the responsibilities of his role as a leader and coping with expectations of being destiny’s chosen one, Harry is further pushed into the complexities of carrying out his duties and miseries of being on the brink of adulthood. No doubt Harry seems to be overwhelmed with cynicism and uncertainty in this final volume of the seven-part dictionary-sized volumes. Harry’s journey in this one prepares him towards a final showdown and also sends him back in his past to witness something he had desired since ages.
In the end to describe the book in a word, it’s exceptional! Yes, there are scenes like the opening scene, Harry and the gang flying over waters of London, Voldemort penetrating Harry’s mind and the high profile drama that unfolds in the Gringotts that had be whimpering and exclaiming loudly. And when two of Harry’s most loved professors die, when his best friend returns in time to save him, when he visits his parent’s grave, when he digs a grave for his savior, when the hatred he felt towards one of the characters since the book one vanishes in one single chapter and when he walks towards his own death with an unusual but complete acceptance, I cried.
The Six hundred and seventy five rupees I spent, my train journey at early hours of 21st morning, standing in queue to get hold of the copy and then giving up hang-outs, hour-long phone conversations and a complete detachment from the muggle-world, while constantly reminding friends and family that I have not in fact lost my mind- all worth it…!

Devashree P.S

Musings of a Harry Potter fan on the eve of final showdown...

The time has come…It’s a final showdown, an end of an era for all the Potter maniacs. As the last chapter of the book turns it’s final page, we’ll say our ultimate Goodbye to Harry, forever. It’s hard to imagine, difficult to believe and impossible to accept the fact that Harry will no longer continue to charm us and enthrall our senses. I don’t want to get deliberately sappy here, but I’ve been a part of this whole phenomenon for more than seven years now- so Harry Potter has quite obviously been a huge HUGE part of my life. For me, it has always been escapism from the present reality to an unknown yet familiar world of fantasy. Yes, I’m a self-confessed Harry Potter maniac. I do wish I had an invisibility cloak, wish I could transfigure things and apparate at will.
Like million others who are not a part of this magical population, I too tried to distance myself from Harry, initially when my sister forced me to read it. Thinking of it as mere children’s book, I resisted it for a longest time. Until, one day for the sake of my sis, I half-heartedly took the first book in my hands. And as I started turning the pages, little did I know that I was entering the world, which I would become a part of, for the rest of my life. I instantly got glued to HP and read all the three books that had come till then and waited with baited breath for the forth to arrive. Since then this tradition continues. Before every book release, I get jitters, anxiety attacks and pangs of excitement that I can’t contain.
But this time, it’s going to be different. Because, this time we know there isn’t going to be a next time. After reading each of the previous books, I thought that it would be hard for me when the last book ultimately falls in my hands. But now, when the time has actually come, I’m realizing it’s even harder. Will there ever be anyone as astonishing as Harry? Would you love any teacher in the world more than Dumbledore? Will you ever loathe anyone but Snape? And even if you try your best, where will you find better friends than Ron and Hermione? After living with Harry for so many years, it’s difficult to bring it to a closing stage. There is an excitement that is unrivaled and a sense of bereavement at the same time. After years of reading, theorizing, re-reading, debating, re-re-reading and discussing we have finally reached our destination and wow, what a ride it has been! Like many, I’ve literally grown up with Harry and I’ll definitely feel a part of me will be gone.
The non-readers think it as insanity, but for Potter enthusiasts, there will be nothing like Harry for the rest of their lives. Surely enough, the intense bond that the readers have attained the world over with Harry and the gang is difficult to bring to a close.
But, I’m sure, even though JK stops writing about Harry, the story will continue for the fans. Practically, the phenomenon will end but emotionally Harry Potter will remain carved in the hearts of all those who have been fortunate enough to be its part.
I‘ll never forget all those people who became my friends just because I saw one of the HP books in their hands. We did everything together- laughed at Ron’s jokes, flew over the waters of London on a broomstick, cheered for Harry in Quidditch and mourned the death of our loved characters. Given a chance I would die to go back in time and re-live my past seven years just to cherish the moments one last time.
But looking at this bittersweet moment’s bright side, I got to be a part of the biggest literary event in the history. And I can’t thank J.K Rowling enough for this magnificent gift.